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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Fear of Change and Managing it

The past few months have given me a great deal to reflect on when it comes to change, especially the fully unexpected events that throw you into change like a whirlwind.   In challenging times, it can be difficult to see the bigger picture and like the last quote I posted, we have to keep moving forward even when we can't see the whole staircase. 

A few months ago, I had a series of upheavals.  My son was in a school bus crash and ended up with a severely broken leg, having 2 surgeries and spending his entire summer, including his 13th birthday in a cast.  We went from a full leg cast and wheelchair, to a regular cast, to now a walking cast.  During all of this my youngest child finally potty trained as we worked on intense physical therapy with his brother.  My husband lost his job because he missed too much work while trying to help in the care of the boys.  It was very heartbreaking initially and stressful.  Practicing the universal laws does not make us immune to struggles in life, it just helps us cope with them better.

I realize that everyone in life has periods of struggle.  Now I am watching my mothers health decline and for the first time both her and my father are getting old in my eyes.  I am facing the probability of caring for both of them in the coming years.  My husbands parents are both older than mine, and his mother is also chronically ill.  These changes we can prepare for a bit I suppose, but they are still difficult transitions.  We realize that in life, all people face changes that are difficult.  Not every change is easy, in fact most aren't and that is why we spend a lot of time avoiding them.  The downside to that of course is a lack of growth. Especially if we never risk failure or doing something that makes us feel truly alive. 

All of these incidents the past few months, while challenging, have also reinforced my belief in the laws of the universe.  I am seeing the natural cycles of life, the fact that things change regardless of our resistance to it and that life on this plane can be fragile at any age.  I have watched my son grow up, seen his courage develop, and watched him find a love and awe for life again that has been truly amazing. 

In the past couple of weeks, I have also seen a friend of mine who is only in her late 30's almost die from smoking and obesity.  Everyone tiptoes around these subjects with people, but the doctor in the ER finally told her bluntly - keep doing what you are doing and you will die, leaving your two young boys motherless.  It worked - her fear was finally the catalyst to helping her make major changes. I know now she values her health and wellness and will do what she can to ensure she lives her best life possible, if not for herself, then for her kids.  It can become easy to stay stuck in our habits - even ones we know are hurting us.  Change is hard - but I've learned that if we wait too long, until we "must change or else" - it is much harder. 

So, I guess the point of today's post is to acknowledge change is inevitable and yes - it is hard.  It's also the one thing in life that is guaranteed, and you can flow with it and live freely or resist it and struggle - but the changes are still going to happen.  So, if you want to improve the quality of your life, jump in the deep end, embrace change and make it your friend instead of your enemy. 

Looking back over the past six months, I realize I have also grown.  I have truly focused on wellness for not only my family, but now for myself as well.  I am working towards my goals, setting a better example by working hard but also striking a better balance between work, personal, and family time.  I am making the things that matter a priority.  For example, we are having dinner at the table every night again.  We had let our busy lives take over previously and would grab a quick bite or eat in front of TV etc.  Now, we enjoy a home cooked meal each night at the dining room table.  It is amazing how that small act allows us to really connect in new ways.  We killed an old bad habit, made a new one and it's lead to positive changes.  Every day you can do something that leads to positive change also - and don't worry about resisting the unexpected changes, because you can't stop them anyway. Comfort zones serve no one and they don't allow us to avoid pain, only prolong suffering.

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