Pinterest

Follow Me on Pinterest

Friday, May 25, 2012


What a great quote and so true! What we do is always more important and more remembered than anything else.  Don't just say "thank you" or "I love you" - express it through an act of kindness.  What we send out is returned to us. 

I always remember words of kindness of course, but when someone does something kind, or pays you a compliment or gives you something you need without you having to ask it's truly remarkable.  I have come to value very much recently the kindness of strangers. 

When my son was taken off the bus after his accident, many people stopped to help and one lady in particular sat with my son and cared for him until the paramedics arrived.  Many people drive on by or just look and stare - but many people that day stopped, got out of their cars and rushed to the aid of the injured on that bus.  It was amazing and although this lady may never know who I am - my life is forever changed because she was there for my son at a moment where I could not be. 

Always remember that your kindness doesn't go unnoticed. 

Healing From Trauma with Univeral Laws

It's been a long couple of weeks.  11 days ago my son was coming home from a field trip on a bus full of 6th graders and as they were approaching a construction zone the bus driver slammed into the back of a Semi truck that was slowing down. 

No one was killed or critically injured - and that is a blessing.  My son and one other child were severely injured however and now it's all about moving forward with life and making this experience something to grow from rather than be overwhelmed by. 

My 12 year old son had a compound fracture to his Tibia and a broken fibular bone as well.  His injuries were so severe he was airlifted to a trauma center where he underwent emergency surgery the night of the crash and another smaller surgery 3 days later.  His "good leg" was also badly injured, but not broken.  (thankfully!) However, this made getting up and trying to walk on crutches extremely painful for him. 

Watching him in agony was more than my heart could take at times, but it also shored up my determination to help make this a growing experience for our family.  We began immediately by focusing on gratitude - thankful to be alive, thankful that he will walk again, thankful that everyone will eventually be ok, thankful for the people who stopped to assist, thankful for the amazing flight nurses that made it possible for me to put him on that helicopter while I drove 90 minutes away to reunite with my baby.  SO many things to be grateful for - we continuously speak of the good that came from this. 

When he works through the pain in his body, he envisions his bones and tissues working to heal, working to give him mobility again.   When the sadness and anger rise up we acknowledge them for having a place and for being justifiable, but we choose to release that and continue to move forward in the spirit of gratitude and healing.  We have learned to 'observe" our emotions rather than be overtaken by them.  This has given him the calm and strength needed to adjust to life again.  Even as he lay injured in that ER and waiting for the helicopter he showed amazing courage.  I came into the room not knowing what to expect - the scene was chaotic and he looked at me and said "It's ok mom I just need to have a little surgery and I'll be fine".  He was laying there with covers over his whole body, his teeth chattering from the pain/adrenaline.  One little tear hung in the corner of his eyes and I could feel my heart breaking but I smiled at him and told him "I know you will baby".  He put his oxygen mask back on and just looked at me and I used everything I had in me not to lose it. 

Despite being in the most God awful place emotionally, somehow I was able to be calm and a strange serenity surrounded me and I just knew - it really was going to be alright.  It was going to be hell, but it was also going to turn into something positive. 

Each day in that hospital got a bit better.  His surgeries went well - that's the hardest thing in the world to send a baby into surgery, but I just envisioned myself comforting him and repeating to myself "all is well - all is right with the world".

Every day he takes more steps.  The first day he couldn't lift the full leg cast off the floor, 11 days later and he is able to get himself up and take 20 - 30 steps with his crutches before he gets too tired to continue.  Each day has been 100% better than the day before it and we move forward knowing and being grateful for the fact that tomorrow will be better than today. 

We have a long road ahead - months in a cast, physical therapy, and our whole lives have been turned upside down, but we know we will make it and Sean is my hero for his amazing resolve and willingness to not let this ruin his summer or his life. 

Art Therapy

One of the first things he received was an art kit from his art teacher and a beautiful journal from his grandparents.  He is using this to help him process his emotions, concerns, hopes, and fears.  It's been a great tool for him and I am sure that it will be a great tool as he goes through counseling to heal as well. 

One Day at a Time

We now value the "here and now" more than ever.  We have fully realized that when you face a struggle if you focus on what you can do today - tomorrow will take care of itself.  It can be hard to resist the natural urge to feel that your standing at the bottom of Everest looking up.  Healing well and fast only happens when we focus on what we can do "now".  Each day he pushes himself a little further, he opens up more to talk, and he refocuses his mind to stay positive.  If he was dwelling on 5 months in a cast and therapy - it would deplete that initiative and cause him to spiral into the sadness and frustration.  When we focus consciously on "now" and on "healing" there is no room for sabotaging thoughts to hold him back. 

Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Law of Correspondence Your World is a Reflection

This law states that your outer world reflects your inner world. 

 

You will experience what you think about and what you experience and perceive in your outer world is a direct reflection of your inner world.

Have you ever noticed how if you are in a very cluttered room you begin to feel dragged down, stifled, or overwhelmed?  Some feel an overwhelming need to straighten the area, to give it order. Others turn a blind eye to the mess almost instinctively.  Perhaps making excuses like "I have no space, or I am so disorganized" Most of us battle this in our homes or work places at some point,   some to a larger degree than others.

 Hoarding for example has become a huge problem - and the people who engage in this are often using "stuff" to literally bury their emotions and problems, rather than bringing them out into the light of day to be dealt with.  On the other end of the spectrum are people who have such strong OCD compulsions they never stop cleaning, the fear of disorder or germs etc take over.  It's never enough and there is a need for more comfort through control etc.

Looking at these two scenarios we see how our outer world is a direct reflection of what is going on within our inner world.  The person who is buried by clutter and feeling overwhelmed by it is almost always "burying" or feels overwhelmed by something they can't face emotionally. 

The person who obsesses over germs and cleanliness is afraid of what is beyond his/her control.  They continually clean and sanitize (which is actually harmful) in an effort to feel they are controlling the world around them.  There is a sense of powerlessness and fear deep down that is buried by this activity. 

What Influences You? Do You Even Know Anymore? 


An example and what helped me to reshape both my inner and my outer world is to pay attention to what influences you.  We turn the TV OFF.  We do not watch the news, "reality tv" or get bombarded by advertisements constantly that play on fears and insecurities.  This was the best thing our family ever did for our sanity and peace of mind.  We watch family friendly movies and programs commercial free via Roku in extreme moderation. We read the news once or twice per week just to stay abreast of what is important in the world, but refuse to be "news junkies" or overtaken with all the negativity.  

The media loves FEAR and so do businesses! What better way to make you buy tons of beauty potions, diet pills, expensive items you don't need etc. than to play on your fears.  The images of women you see are fake.  I work with Photoshop as a professional - trust me!  Fear of not being "perfect" causes people to consume more - to buy the next gadget or potion in an attempt to live up to an illusion that will never be reality.  I read once where Cindy Crawford said "I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford" In other words the makeup, expensive lighting and Photoshop are what create that image and she doesn't actually look like that in daily life.  This is just one example.  There are always images of "happy people" with expensive cars, jewelry etc. giving the illusion that if you get enough stuff you'll suddenly be happy.  It's an illusion and it creates fear based thinking that robs people of joy rather than creates it.

Have you ever felt tired and just "edgy" after watching crime dramas or the news? Especially the news, because in a half hour you may be bombarded with hundreds of negative stories.  This gives a skewed perception of reality.  Suddenly the world looks far more dangerous than it actually is, people start to become so paranoid that we all live in isolation from each other.  We don't feel connected like we used to.  There is always a sense of impending doom and a need to be over vigilant against danger etc.  This isn't to suggest throw caution to the wind of course, but I remember as a child going outside, riding bikes, playing in the woods etc. until it was dark and then I had to be home when the street lights came on.  ALL of the neighborhood kids had that freedom.  We had fun, we stayed fit and healthy, and had better social skills than young people today who are kept in a bubble and who rely on texts and tweets for their social skills. 

Crime existed when we grew up too, but as a society we were not obsessed with it and bombarded by images of it constantly.  We kept it in its proper perspective and were educated about how to protect ourselves and trust our instincts.  Today we don't give our young people that opportunity, because we've become too obsessed with trying to protect them and smother them.

So back to the original point - what you focus on in your outer world is a direct reflection of what you need to address in your inner world.  This law is hard to embrace, because it means looking at ourselves with genuine honesty and that often means having to admit we are wrong about how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.  Who really enjoys admitting they are wrong?

If you want to change your vibrations - you have to eliminate habits that keep you in negative mindsets.  Reduce your exposure to media, advertising, sensationalism etc.  Acknowledge that these things influence you more than you realize and then work to deprogram those ideas (this takes considerable time and effort but life is so much lighter and freer when you do this)

I have run the gamut in my life, from being sloppy to being very obsessive about my home.  After addressing my inner world, I finally came to a place where I am a "happy medium".  I don't feel compelled to be a super hero mom/woman anymore.  I don't need to obsesses to be worthy of love.  I do not feel buried or overwhelmed anymore and therefore I naturally became better organized.  I was able to streamline my inner thinking and that allowed me to get control of my "stuff" - to keep what I truly need and want to use and to get rid of extra clutter.  I know that my family will still love me if there is a dish left in the sink or laundry left to do.  I know it doesn't mean I've failed as a mom etc.  The image of a "super mom" is fake - and many women are running themselves into the ground trying to uphold that image to their own detriment.  When you run yourself ragged, there is nothing left to give and that makes our families suffer. 

Sometimes the inner world is harder to tackle - in that case start with your external world.  If you are a pack rat, start letting go.  It hurts, it's difficult at first - and that's because getting rid of stuff in your environment directly results in starting to let go of "stuff" in your inner world. It's all connected.

 If you obsess the other way, start to give up some of that false sense of security and need for control. You will NEVER be able to control the outside world no matter how much you work yourself up ;). Your family will still love you even when the house looks lived in ;).  The only thing we are in true control of at all times is our own thoughts/actions.  Work to take some of your power back by focusing on what you can control, rather than obsessing over what you can't. 

 

Those who get stuck in anger, resentment, and other self-sabotaging emotions and beliefs find that they tend to draw more chaos into their lives – and they likely don't realize they are doing it.